提升职场邮件写作技巧，沟通更高效

韩晓凤：Business English Communication: Write to Win 商务英语书面沟通——写赢职场

【Course Background】According to a McKinsey study of the average employee in the US, one spends at least 30% of workhours reading and responding to emails. Situation is similar in China, especially in foreign companies and transnational companies. Even in the era of social media and apps, emails are by far the most common method of communication in business for a wide range of purposes. Email is evolving with the time, it is becoming a searchable archive, a manager’s accountability source, and a document courier. However, employees rarely receive systematic training in business writing, specifically email writing. Therefore, we often send and receive bad emails that consequently result in even more emails because of miscommunication. It is necessary to learn how to write emails concisely, logically, persuasively, effectively, which connects with the readers and solves problems at work.【课程背景】根据麦肯锡一项调查表明，美国企业员工平均有30%的工作时间都在回复邮件。在中国，情况也是相似，特别是在外企和跨国公司。在社交媒体的时代，邮件仍然是商务沟通中使用最为普遍的沟通方式，其所涉及的内容也极为广泛。随着时代的变化，邮件的功能也更新迭代，成为可搜索的档案、职业经理人的问责证据、文件传递的载体。然而，很多公司的员工都没接受过系统的商务写作培训，尤其是邮件写作。因此，我们常常发出或收到糟糕的邮件，往往造成沟通不畅。如此往复，恶性循环。因此，学会如何高效地写出言简意赅、逻辑详实、极具说服力的邮件，既提升职场人际关系，又解决工作中的问题，就显得尤为必要了。【Course Highlights】The aim of this course is to ensure your email will be read and acted on after you receive the training. Therefore, it is not only offering a number of useful linguistic knowledges to enhance your writing skills, but also covering how to have a two-way communication at the workplace via email. The course emphasizes the problem-solving mindset that every single email is written to solve problems. It is important for the sender to analyze the existing information from 3 perspectives, “Tone, Content and Logic”. To think before write, you will be able to write emotional comfortable, logical and convincing emails. In the context of globalization, business writing in English is one kind of cross-cultural communications. The course looks into the cultural and linguistic differences in different scenarios, especially when handling sensitive issues. After taking this course, Chinglish will no longer be your worries. Write to win will become a reality. 【课程亮点】本课程的目标是让你的邮件能被收件人及时地阅读并付诸行动。因此，课程不仅涵盖了诸多实用的英语表达及写作技巧，并将教授如何通过邮件实现职场的双向沟通。课程强调以解决问题为导向的思维出发，邮件撰写者应三思而后落笔，从“语气、内容、逻辑”三个维度分析既有信息，继而写出令人情绪舒适、有逻辑性、极具说服力的邮件。在全球化的语境之下，商务英语写作是跨文化交流的一种方式。本课程将探讨不同情境之下的中西文化语言差异，特别是处理敏感事件的文化语言差异。在完成本课程的学习之后，中式英语将不再是你的困扰，写赢职场也将成为现实。【Course Outline】【课程大纲】Section One版块一 Email Essentials/ 3h英语电邮必备/ 3小时Essentials: building blocks of business correspondence 电子商务邮件的“基础构件”，每个部分标准且高效的写法Subject line: brief + informative （news headline style）标题：简洁+信息量（新闻式标题）Correct salutation and greeting: relations between you and the reader 称呼与问候：你与读者的关系Opening: reason for writing, put your purpose in a direct and warm way开头：一语中的，同时传递温度Main point: short paragraphs 主要内容：短篇段落结构Closing：create potential for a two-way communication结尾：营造潜在的双向沟通Details: provide “all the needed” information, reader-friendly format and layout 细节：提供“所有的必需的”信息、舒适的格式排版Ending: Dos & Don’ts in emails 电子邮件中的注意事项Choose the right tools (email, face-to-face, WeChat/What’s app) in the light of conditions 因事而异：选择合适的沟通方式(邮件、当面沟通、微信)Case study I: Push a colleague in different department to send the report on time案例讨论一：有技巧地催促不同部门同事按时交报告 Section Two版块二 Content Structure/3.5h内容结构/3.5小时 Structure guideline: how to arrange contents in an email?结构指南：如何编排邮件内容？What is your objective for writing email & make a list of bullet points   你写这封邮件的目的是什么 & 列出内容要点Who you are writing? (Tone)邮件写给谁？(语气)What do you want from the reader? (Content)你想让对方做什么？(内容)Why the reader shall act as per your proposal? (Logic)对方为什么应该做？(逻辑)Cut to the chase with your objective: catch attention, save time, avoid misunderstanding 开门见山：引起注意、节省时间、避免误解Think before write: problem-solving mindset 三思而后落笔：解决问题的思维Key information: what, who, when, where, why 核心信息：何事、何人、何时、何地、何故   Analytical methods: pyramid structure, mind mapping, fishbone diagram 分析方法：金字塔结构、思维导图、鱼骨图Case study II: Draw the pyramid structure, mind mapping, fishbone diagram for progress report / business proposal / work plan / promotion application案例讨论二：为进度报告、活动方案、工作计划、竞升申请做金字塔结构/思维导图/鱼骨图Section Three版块三Linguistics/3h语言专版/3小时  Write with credibility —— concise & clear写出信服力——简明扼要No flowery writing, but informative expressions (graphs, statistics, facts, quotes)摈弃华丽辞藻，使用信息化语言（图表、数据、事实、引用）Using verbs rather than adjectives多用动词，少用形容词List of commonly used linking words and phrases 常用连接词10 rules of writing easily understood English   简明英语写作10大法则Be clear in your position立场清晰Keep it short: value reader’s time more than yours 篇幅简短：尊重对方的时间Case study III: Request your supervisor for approving a new hire 案例讨论三：请上级批准新增一名同事Case study IV: Apply for a site visit to a client 案例讨论四：向客户请求前去拜访 Section Four版块四  Cross-cultural communication/2h跨文化沟通/2小时  Writing on sensitive/negative/embarrassing issues —— Positive 处理敏感/负面/尴尬的事件——积极Correct tone & business style: emails alive 正确的语气&商务风格：见字如面Writing etiquette 书面礼仪Using modal verbs correctly 正确使用情态动词State “what can/should be done”, instead of “what cannot/should not be done”陈述“能/应该”做的，而不是“不能/不应该”做的Linguistic differences due to different cultures 东西方不同文化的语言差异Avoid Chinglish 避免中式英语Case study V: Reply to a underperformed supplier 案例讨论五：回复表现不佳的供应商的邮件Case study VI: Reply to a complaint 案例讨论六：回复一封投诉信 Section Five版块五 Conclusion & practice/1.5h总结及综合演练/1.5小时Problem-solving mindset 解决问题的思维Tone，Content, Logic 语气、内容、逻辑Practicing “TCL”操练“TCL”写作思维Emails alive with the right tone: make the reader emotionally comfortable见字如面：让对方情感上舒适Provide all needed information: make the reader thoughtfully informed发散思维，提供所有必需的信息：周到地与对方沟通（思维的广度）Build the structure logically: make the reader logically convinced收拢思维，构建有逻辑的结构：逻辑上让对方信服（逻辑的深度）Case study VII: salary raise request 案例讨论七：提出加薪

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